O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
