Kiss
Puke
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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