I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
