Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
