What did we do last night that was yellow?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
