I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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