whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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