when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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