It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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