GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
