I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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