She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
