i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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