Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
