we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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