I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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