It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
