I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
