She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
