He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
