I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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