Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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