Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
