Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
