Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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