i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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