i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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