the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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