Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
