I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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