The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
