I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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