This house was built for laser tag.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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