The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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