This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
