My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
