I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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