My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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