New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
