: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
