i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
