I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she told me i tasted like america
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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