out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize