this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
