Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
