I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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