Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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