yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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