I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize
