I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize